…I was scouting around the net for a RC church somewhere near where we will likely be moving. All of them have only one or two masses every Sunday and they are extremely early….which will not work for us at this time for a few reasons. So, I think I’m going to head to a local church that I’ve never been to before. We’ve only got several dozen in my town.

I am hoping and praying so much to be inspired….to be able to regain my childhood faith back again, that was so easy to possess at the time. Little did I know I’d grow older and incredibly cynical. I allowed my faith to be destroyed and I did not even see it happening. I want God to enter our lives and provide us the hope we so desperately need. I need to be able to put everything in God’s hands. Oh, it was so natural when I was a kid!

I think I am possessed by the secular world and I need to find a retreat from it. I need to regain my own thoughts back again. I know what’s really important for goodness sake! I know that worldy goods mean nothing, yet I am so disgustingly covetous of it all. I think my deep fear is that people will look down on me….and I think I carry that from my childhood. Time to get over it. How many times have you been shocked to find out that the family in the neighborhood with the most gorgeous house, etc., etc. just broke up, or a member committed suicide or one spouse was cheating. I’m too fooled by what I see on the outside. What I should realize is that what I have on the “inside” of my home really is real and is precious. I am incredibly lucky. I could live in a dump (and practically do) and I really have everything to be happy for right now.